Where's the Nurse's office?
by Miss Macabre Grey
Summary: Alfred, the all-American boy, is the normal popular kid until he finds a certain new Russian student sitting beside him. Fight breaks out and some new understanding develops.


With one look at Alfred Jones you could already see the all-American-boy attitude he carried with him.

He had blond hair and vibrant blue eyes framed by a pair of designer glasses. Alfred was the type of person with an almost natural model figure that worked any form of clothing, though he usual just wore typical jeans and American flag tees or the country's favorite cowboy get-ups.

Though not the brightest, he was a solid C-B student, save for world history. Alfred didn't care about anything really in the world if it wasn't American. The only thing he ever did pick up was the fact that 'all Russians are evil communist spies' and hated the country.

That opinion didn't change on the seemingly normal Monday morning when his English teacher screamed the class for his attention to present a new students. New students were cool with Alfred, so he just continued his laid back attitude and continued to talk to one of his many friends around as the teacher, Mr. Kirkland, continued the brief introduction.

Though not really listening, the young blond's ears perked up when Mr. Kirkland explained that the new student was from_ Russia_ of all nations!

"All right class! Be sure to be nice to him! As I said, he's not even from the country and so don't be going around passing on your vial... whatever it is the internet teaches you all nowadays to him! Give his the decent side of American culture! His name is Ivan Breg... Bragn-Braginski! Now come on in, Ivan and take a seat next to Alfred, the blond git in the corner with glasses." his teacher ordered turning his back to the class and beginning to right the day's lesson down.

Alfred eyed the new student coming in harshly. From what he could tell, Ivan stood at about 6'4" with dark blue-green eyes. He wore a long old coat tan coat that reached about his knees, weird for it still being summer. Ivan also wore dark brown pants that tucked into more old, dirt-crusted combat boots. And just to top it all off that would prove he was some sort of trained Russian solder, Ivan had a deep red colored scarf with thick golden trimmings.

Slowly the Russian did as he was told and took his seat beside the livid American chair neighbor.

"_Privyet_, comrade! Would you mind terribly telling me how to get to the psychology room? I still seem to not know my way around just yet, you see..." the Russian trailed off with a friendly enough smile.

"Tch. Stupid commie! Just find a map! I don't have time for your stupid fucking Russian mind games!"

"Hm? Mind games? Is the leetle Amerikan too slow to keep up in his own primitive language? I am so sorry for that. I will simply ask someone else as I cannot fully dumb myself down to speak monkey."

"_What?_ Want to _repeat_ that? I think I was too slow to fully understand you. See, I can_ easily _give you the grand tour of the school nurse's office!" Alfred exclaimed jumping over to Ivan and starting a fight.

The two brought each others to the ground where bruises already began to form and strikes were made equally hard. Not one dared stopped it, of course in fear of the extreme violence would result in a broken bone until the teacher paid notice to it.

"BOTH OF YOU, GITS! GET OUT NOW! TO THE NURSE THEN STRAIGHT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! _LEAVE!_" Mr. Kirkland barked throwing his chalk at the two misfits.

Panting and tired Ivan and Alfred head to the door, only wishing to have landed one more punch than the other and glaring hard enough to stop an angry bull in its tracks.

"That was not a very nice thing to do, da? Might you explain why you had so rudely attacked me?" the larger asked with an oddly smug grin.

"Why would I tell a fucking commie like you? You didn't seem too keen on trying to make nice, either, anyway. Shit, my arm face hurts! Stupid fucking commie!"

"Da, that is true. Personally, I find your snarky presence much more enlightening than your horrid excuse for an Englishman. I never did like the English accent. I find Americans to have much more diverse patterns, yet more simple. Such as you. You are far more interesting. I would not have assumed you have a right hook like that with such preppy clothes as those.

"What the-! Man, stupid commie! What type of fucked-up logic is that? You saying you want to take over America for our accents or something!"

"Nyet. And also, _I am not a communist_. I assure that so long as you leaders are not as simple minded as you, you are secure enough from a Russian invasion. I do not even know why you are continuing that slander. I think this mightbe some sort of jealousy? From what I felt during our little conflict, _everything is definitely bigger in Russia._"

"Hey! I am not simple-minded! And I have you know you _scream_ commie! Honestly, that scarf and the boots and the coat! You could easily have been loaded and no one would be able to tell until the bomb beneath your shirt started ticking! And... sorry. Guess you aren't so bad beneath the suicide bomber coat, you're cool. Mr. Kirkland is pretty bad, too. He made us read a book about fairies last year! Then one on unicorns! I guess if you can spot the weirdness of our weird Brit teacher, you might not be such a stupid commie, after all. And you BASTARD! I-I! SHUT UP! It's not like it was that much bigger, anyway!" Alfred finally said holding out his beat up hand civilly to the other with a slight flush on his face looking the other way.

"Hm... I suppose that is... almost a valid point but no matter, I guess this is just my style. I am far from communist, I assure you. I'll just take all your crude little comments as forms of endearment from now on, da?"

Ivan stared at the bruised palms for a moment before slowly accepting it into his own for a firm shake and stared at the blushing America fondly. As Alfred turned his gaze to meet Ivan's, both males smiles grew wider and drapped an arm over the other's shoulder for support as they made their way to the nurse.

* * *

So this was something I wrote for creative writing. I think I failed since this story is so tangent from the prompt: 'A story about how clothes define a person' or whatever, but it's still fun. Except I kept having to scratch out the bad words in the written version because I forgot a TEACHER was reading this... I added my foul words and innuendos back in because one: I like them, and 2:I HATE uploading things below a T-rating. Hope this alright. I turned this in almost as is, so if there's a typo in here, that really sucks fore my grade!

Hope you enjoyed and reviews are still loved... ^^;


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